O God, be merciful to me a sinner. – Luke 18:13
It can be difficult for me to admit my wrongdoings. It’s not easy to look at myself with honesty to see my true faults. In truth, I can only do this peacefully by seeing myself as a beloved child of God, no matter what my sins have been. This Sunday’s Gospel passage shows us a model for what admitting our sinfulness means. First off, admitting that we have sinned doesn’t mean that we are intrinsically bad. God created everything good: “God saw everything that he had made, and indeed, it was very good” (Genesis 1:31). Indeed, He made humankind in His own image and likeness (Genesis 1:26).
Interestingly, the Hebrew word for “humankind” is adam. Though created in God’s image, we are also all children of Adam and Eve, and we are still reaping the consequences of the Fall of Man. Yes we are good, but we are also flawed and human. God knows this: “For he knows how we were made; he remembers that we are clay” (Psalm 103:14). Another meaning for adam is “clay.” St. Paul says that we hold the treasure of Christ in “clay jars” (2 Corinthians 4:7). Yes we are clay jars, but we were made with love by the Father. He is the potter; we are the clay: “Just like the clay in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel” (Jeremiah 18:6).
When we know that God made us and loves us despite our sins and flaws allows us to see ourselves truthfully with humility. We are more like the tax collector in today’s reading and less like the Pharisee. We know we are only human, only jars of clay. We are sinners who need God’s mercy and forgiveness.
What a blessing we have in the sacrament of Reconciliation! Instead of walking around carrying our sinfulness with us, we can search our hearts, walk into the confessional, admit our sins to our priest who God gave the authority to forgive sins, be absolved, and go away justified, just as the tax collector did (Luke 18:14). Next time you are preparing for confession, take a moment to reflect on this Gospel passage. See yourself in the place of the tax collector who knows that he has sinned and cries out: “O God, be merciful to me a sinner” (Luke 18:13).
Holy Spirit, send your gift of wisdom to me so that I see myself the way You see me: loved and precious, though sinful and flawed. Reveal my hidden faults to me and forgive me for them (c.f. Psalm 19:12).