I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. – John 13:34-35
Jesus is very clear with us in our Gospel passage this Sunday: we are to love one another. How we love one another is a kind of litmus test for our identities as Christian disciples. Love becomes a sign to others of our faith and trust in Jesus. Love is what sets us apart as followers of Christ. Not only that, we are to love one another as Christ loves us. That means loving in a self-sacrificial way, laying our lives down for one another and bearing each other’s burdens. This is a direct commandment from the Lord, so we actually break this commandment when we fail to try to love as He does. That idea is humbling.
Here’s an idea for growing in self-giving love that I come back to from time to time. Consider reading and praying with 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (see below) as an examination of conscience to help you discover where God desires to grow His love within you. You could do a mini lectio divina with it, reading it a few times through and prayerfully asking God to show you places in this passage where you are lacking so He can fill You with His love and help you grow in that area.
Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Perhaps God wants to give you strength to be more patient with your loved ones or coworkers. Or maybe He wants to free you from jealousy or pride. Maybe He wants to help you become more loving by showing you ways of thinking of others before yourself. Or maybe He is calling you to persevere in some aspect of love that you’re already demonstrating and He wants to commend and fortify you.
For me, a key is not to jump around from virtue to virtue. Instead, allow God to help you choose one virtue to focus on, then think of one practical way (a means) to live out this aspect of love in a new way. If God is calling you to be less easily angered, you could think of a specific way to manage your temper, such as pausing to breathe when you feel angry. If He is calling you to be more kind, you could commit to doing an act of kindness each day. Whatever you choose, write a sticky note and put it on your mirror or desk to remind you of your means to grow in love this week. At the end of the week, prayerfully reflect on how you carried out your means to grow in love. Give thanks to God for the ways that He helped you. Ask Him for forgiveness and make a plan for sacramental Confession when you find yourself struggling. And keep persevering in prayer to allow His grace to sustain you as you grow in love in imitation of Jesus.