“Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.’” – Matthew 16:24
What does it mean to “deny” yourself? We might take that to mean that we don’t allow ourselves certain pleasures. For example, a person would deny himself a second helping of dinner. But that’s not exactly what Jesus is asking of His disciples. According to the USCCB Bible Commentary, “to deny someone is to disown him (see Mt 10:33; 26:34–35) and to deny oneself is to disown oneself as the center of one’s existence.” This gives us a whole new idea of what Jesus means. A condition of discipleship is to “disown” the vice of pride, namely egotism.
Shakespeare wrote of man’s life being played out like a drama: “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players” (As You Like It). How often do we feel that all the world is a stage and we are the play’s writer, director, and protagonist? The hero on center stage. “All eyes on me, please!” To break out of this egotistic mindset, we can learn to see ourselves through God’s eyes. We see that He is the writer, director, and protagonist in the events of history and in our daily lives; we are merely players in God’s drama. Theologian Hans Urs von Balthasar called this idea the “theo-drama.” In the theo-drama, everything we do centers on God.
Speaking for myself, it’s easy to slip back into the “ego-drama,” the play where I’m the star and everything revolves around me. I think an excellent antidote to this is daily Scripture reading. Reading the Bible shows us how God worked out His plan of salvation throughout the ages. Scripture shows the brave men and women of both the Old and New Testaments who denied themselves and took up their sufferings for the Lord in discipleship. Reading each and every day reforms and renews our minds to be conformed to His way of thinking (see Romans 12:1-2).
Jesus, help me to disown myself as the center of existence. You are the Author of Life (Acts 3:15). You are the Morning Star, the One who shines (Revelation 22:16). I am happy to play my humble part in Your theo-drama. I will embrace the unique role that you have written just for me.